told to... resisted or not

sister K... who listened carefully & warned me of the danger of too much dialogue with too many assumptions that the reader knows what's going on in the character's head... she wrote me a bit of advice into my computer that i'll put here perhaps...

then on thursday night i told E... she listened very well & made a few suggestions which i resisted... strange how some suggestions i welcome, and some suggestions i resist... is it about girlfriends?

then friday night i tell R - bass player in the new covers band.. this after a rehearsal, over chinese food,

for him i tell it starting in the same place, but going all the way through the outer things before coming back...

he mentions the danger of there being too much logic... or rather, because at the moment it's all logical... the danger that certain readers will arrive at the answer too soon and not bother reading on... for me it brings to mind the different kinds of learners one has when teaching - and the need to say the same thing in many different ways to reach all different kinds... so here we have different kinds of readers... & looking after the more astute readers who will work stuff out quicker, just as you need to look after the less astute...

R: what murakami would do... introduce other storylines that either do or don't intersect with the main story... that perhaps don't reach resolution... mentions hard boiled wonderland & the end of the world & the wind up bird chronicles...

R also suggests an angle that i do like and do not resist... in the same world that E suggested her idea...

R: what drives the scientist?

also... just got to the big green bookshop & am about to tell lovely S... but he's currently speaking to a couple of costumers... thankful for this tiny laptop so i can tap away while the people in this shop serve customers... of course i want all their attention... but i understand commerce does recquire attention...

ok.. so i told S... a version with the tubetrain... then clara... scientist... cat horror... photograph throwing... meeting simon (S's name for our guy), story of their odd time together up until tube train... then back to scientist... et al... this version had the ages a bit rejigged & telling it, it was odd that the girl is so young on the train on her own...

he hung on until the end, but at a certain point i think i lost him,.. and i don't know that he liked it...

he said:

there have to be reasons why people are doing things,

i know scientists are mad but WHY is he...(kittens)

...

it's not so easy telling it to people who aren't enthusiastic about it... and lo & behold, the proper book people (well. the people who work in the bookshop, of which 2 out of 3 i've told the story to - the 3rd i will tell when i see him) are harder, 

emotionally it is hard, but as that book that i read decades ago said:

1st you persuade yourself, then you persuade a friend, then you persuade an enemy...

and it has to work for even the most critical of audiences... at this time... when it's so vulnerable... i think i need positive people to tell it to... (not that you can predict either way)... when it's stronger in my mind i need more critical people...